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Hi, TJ,

Yes, I could move on to Indulgences. Or I could employ Morton's Fork, where he told big spenders that they could obviously afford to give to the Church, and those who didn't spend, that they must be stacking it away, so must have some to give to the Church.

And, can you picture trying to organise a reformation in this day and age? No anti-sectarianism allowed.

I will continue with my philosophy of live and let live. Every Sunday, there are two of us on the island who turn up at chapel to accompany our wives as they practice their faith. Does that qualify for the Order of St Gregory?

I'm not a follower of football, but I did like the chant at a Motherwell home game, just as the mighty Ravenscraig Works was being closed. The visiting spectators sang 'If you're going to work on Monday, clap your hands'.

Anyway, thanks again for not clyping.

P

Hi Pipesmoker
Liked your "Motherwell"tale.
I append the following which I hope you enjoy.

On their way to get married,a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates,waiting for St.Peter to process them into Heaven.While waiting they began to wonder;Could they possibly get married in Heaven?When St.Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.St.Peter said,"I don't know.This is the first time anyone has asked.Let me go find out," and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...For a couple of months.While they waited,they discussed the pros and cons.If they were allowed to get married in Heaven,should they get married,what with the eternal aspect of it all?"What if it doesn't work?Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"
Another month passed.St.Peter finally returned,looking somewhat bedraggled."Yes",he informed the couple,"You can get married in Heaven".
"Great" said the couple."But we were just wondering;what if things don't work out?Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St.Peter,red faced with anger,slammed his clipboard on the ground."What's wrong?"asked the frightened couple.
"OH COME ON!!!"St. Peter shouted."It took me three months to find a priest up here!"Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?"

Hi, TJ, First original one I have heard in months. Great. Must rush off to tell Mrs P.

Like the one where a Church of Scotland minister had five sons, four were ministers and the fifth spent most of his life drinking and womanising. Each of the ministers happily reported to Dad that they had dreamed of being in heaven, and it was just like home. The Jakey son reported having dreamt of hell. Just like home, Father. You can't near the fire for ministers.

There was also, a very devout Roman Catholic, who on his death bed, insisted on having Pastor Jack Glass administer the Last Rites. Pastor J, thinking he had a convert, was happy to oblige. Having done so, he asked why he had been sent for. The old man said, 'Have you seen the weather? It is raining and there is a huge gale blowing. You can't ask a Priest to come out on a night like this'.

Take care.

P

I am glad that I was able to make you chuckle Julie.

Sorry,posted on wrong thread