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WHEREVER I GO DONT WORRY

Stan,
Why don't you audition for the X Factor. Your tale of woe should guarantee you make the finals. And when you tell 'em about your "journey" there won't be a dry eye in the house. Change your name to StanBo and you can't lose.

Before you go Stan would you please release your Caps Lock on your keyboard .

Capital idea, Joker. Or maybe not the case (lower, presumably).