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trevor
only a shit could be such an idiot as you

This has now got so out of end the temptation to post all the answers is getting likely!

Ha-ha prospector, touche.
You are right of course.
No offence mean't,apologies.
trevor.

Ooh another duel! Shall I polish the pistols ?

Perhaps handbags would be more appropriate...

I'd be honoured to second trevor.

Terry - 'tis I who is honoured, perhaps you might polish my handbag for me(I stitched it myself out of frogskins).
My point to prospector is - what is the point in giving clues that are so comprehensive and obvious that you might as well just give the answers (and yes I did know it was Abductors before The Joker told me - big thanks to TJ tho).

My non too subtle attempts at subtlety and wit often blow up in my face (like a porn star).

Trevor,
Yeah. I think I've seen some of your films. was your nom de guerre Ben Dover. I can't remember whether you gave this instruction to others or, er, it was the other way round.

Anyone remember a "comedy" called Whacko! about a sadistic(or pervy) headmaster with a cane and a pupil called Wendover?

Bend over, Wendover.

Scary.