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Wed raked lawn (?) applied four doses of Rosalind's meths mixture. Wed evening mole knocked scissor trap out of ground so applied final 500ml.

Thursday no activity (mole probably drunk)

This morning two huge molehills, raked over and reset scissor trap......

Go with blowgun. Takes practice but effective. Dirty bomb also works. Know any terrorists?

Fancy shotgun approach but my front garden is open-plan (like Wisteria Lane) and British cops don't have the same relaxed attitude to firearms as those in the Land of the Free.

Had to get a dig in, huh? As long as you've got your shovel out, try using it on your moles.

Sit in garden with blunderbuss and make a noise like a worm!

Maybe the UN could be brought in to broker a ceasefire?

Neil, have you seen PEER REVIEW post 22?

"Too quick, Despairer"