My mate asked me to be Best Man at his wedding. Not wanting to mess up I bought a book on wedding protocol.
I was OK with paying the vicar, cars & other stuff. Speeches & thanking the bridesmaids was also no problem. However, when I got to the bit about following the groom around, giving him blow jobs & taking it up the arse when his wife didn't feel like it I was so concerned, I took the book back.
The lady in the shop apologised & explained that I must have picked up the Tory party's edition by mistake.