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syzygy

14th August 2017, 04:05
A Real Man

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will
never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure
and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never
thought she could do; to live without fear
and forget regret. He will enable her to
express her deepest emotions and give in to
her most intimate desires. He will make sure
she always feels as though she's the most
beautiful woman in the room and will enable
her to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible.
:
:
:
No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine. Its wine that does all that.......
Never mind.
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rossim

14th August 2017, 09:09
Good to see Poser back.
Reminds me of this advert.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWKYGsm3Ue8
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jazzgirl

17th August 2017, 18:16
A man has been employed to sit at the top of Big Ben and shout “BONG!” very loudly while the bell is being repaired.

Jonathan Squires, 57, of Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk, has to live 24/7 in the clock tower and shout into a megaphone on the hour, every hour.

News that the traditional bell would be silent for four years was met with howls of protest by people with too much time on their hands.

Even Prime Minister Theresa May interrupted her work on important global crises to say it was wrong for Big Ben to be quiet during a lengthy restoration project.

Parliamentary officials decided the best compromise would be to employ a man to shout “BONG!” so tourists would still experience the charm of Big Ben’s chimes.

Mr Squires, a former geography teacher, was selected after proving he emitted the loudest and most realistic “BONG!” out of all the candidates.

He will be paid £24,000 a year, plus meals and accommodation in the 96-metre clock tower, which was built in 1859.

Speaking to journalists at a press conference to unveil him today, Mr Squires said: “I’m looking forward to keeping the nation abreast of the time.

“It’s a simple enough job – I just have to shout “BONG!” into my megaphone the required number of times, on the hour every hour.

“It is an honour to serve my country in this way, and I hope the Prime Minister is satisfied.”

Mr Squires takes up his position next Monday.
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busby

18th August 2017, 04:34
If that's the case Jazzy I hope London is prepared for an influx of potheads ;-/

https://68.media.tumblr.com/5ba93572abff4fa8829f4fa6f83f3de0/tumblr_n9cjg8cMdt1two90zo1_500.gif
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jazzgirl

28th August 2017, 12:03

chrise

28th August 2017, 12:14
Super, jazzy, but very worryingly true too!
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seamus, ayrshire

19th November 2017, 12:31
Interesting fact about manure. In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything for export had to be transported by ship.

It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common. It was shipped dry because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet; but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas.

As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles - you can imagine what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction Stow High In Transit, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this "volatile" cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus, evolved the term 'S H I T', (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I had always thought it was a golfing term.
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jazzgirl

19th November 2017, 13:12
Hi Seamus
I have to say that the above has been circulating on facebook for a few years and has been declared "false" .

https://www.thoughtco.com/the-origin-of-the-s-word-4055710

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seamus, ayrshire

19th November 2017, 15:15
Thanks jazzgirl. I don't do Farcebook and don't have any iThingies so am probably out of the loop on this.
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jazzgirl

19th November 2017, 15:25
It was quite amusing though, Seamus :)
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