CancelReport This Post

Please fill out the form below with your name, e-mail address and the reason(s) you wish to report this post.

 

Crossword Help Forum
Forum Rules

celadon

19th December 2013, 10:07
An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old dad explained. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!". Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, you hear me?" she yelled as she hung up the phone. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "it's all set. They're both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare.
1457 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

22nd December 2013, 09:33
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- Shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' Liverpool '

And they say blondes are dumb...
1458 of 1953  -   Report This Post

rossim

22nd December 2013, 10:25
A local organisation called an extra meeting to discuss the fact that they seemed to be having too many meetings!
1459 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

1st January 2014, 14:51
Athbhliain faoi mhaise dhaoibh.


On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
1460 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

12th January 2014, 13:23
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
1461 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

13th January 2014, 11:12
Can you cry under water?
1462 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

14th January 2014, 16:23
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE
FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
1463 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

15th January 2014, 12:04
What disease did cured ham actually have?
1464 of 1953  -   Report This Post

bernie

15th January 2014, 12:15
Overacting?
1465 of 1953  -   Report This Post

bees

15th January 2014, 17:33
I want to get my Allegro car sprayed gold. Do you this this would be too Austin-tatious?
1466 of 1953  -   Report This Post