THE act of shedding tears has been made emotionally meaningless by The X Factor.
The show’s over-exploitation of visible despair has disabled the sympathetic response formerly evoked by seeing a crying person.
Psychologist Emma Bradford said: “As a race we have always felt pity towards those weeping, assuming they were experiencing some genuine suffering.
“Now though we believe it’s either a devious ploy to avoid disappointment, or that the tearful person has been thwarted in their quest for fame.”
Plasterer Bill McKay said: “The wife was sobbing because her nan died. All I felt was mild annoyance and the urge to make withering comments from the sofa while eating crisps.
“I realised then that I had been conditioned. But I still couldn’t bring myself to hug her, instead I just went for a walk.”
Joanne Kramer of Cardiff agreed: “When my home was hit by a lorry, I threw myself on the floor, weeping and saying ‘No, please no,’ while curled up into a ball.
“Passers-by commented ‘Aw, look at the baby,’ ‘Was the nasty judge mean to you?’ and ‘Was it your dream? Was it your dreeeeeem?’.
“I wanted to explain that I was legitimately sad but I couldn’t, because I was crying too hard.”